Anxiety: How I’ve Learned to Cope

{Artwork: Real Deals in Granville / Candle Holder: Similar / Faux Succulent: Similar // 52 Lists Journal: Amazon}

Anxiety is something I’ve struggled with for a majority of my life. Although, when I was much younger, I described it as a “weird, shaking feeling,” as I was too little to understand what it actually was, anxiety. The earliest I remember feeling anxiety was when I was in third grade. I would wake up and cry because I didn’t want to go to school. I was being picked on by a boy in class and I never wanted to tell anyone about it so I just dealt with it. I would get short of breath and my stomach would turn in knots.

Fast forward to a my mid-twenties, I was at work, sitting at my desk and I started feeling short of breathe, my palms began sweating and I  my heart started racing, and because I still was unaware what was going on, I thought something was terribly wrong. I remember standing up and walking away from my desk and feeling like I was having an out-of-body experience; I didn’t feel like myself. I stepped into a quiet conference room that was vacant and started crying. Thankfully a co-worker of mine came to check on me and told me she thought I might be experiencing an anxiety attack. She said she struggled with them for years. That was very comforting to have her talk to me while I calmed down, especially knowing that she knew what I was feeling. After about 10 minutes my breathing returned to normal and I felt a sense of calm again. That’s when I knew I needed to find out what I can do to control this.

I decided to talk to my doctor and explain what happened, she did inform me that what I experienced was in fact an anxiety attack but that I could work on controlling them without the use of medicine. She gave me some breathing exercises and explained the triggers that can cause them (which I now try to avoid, if possible) and with that, I began my my journey on the path to dealing with my anxiety.

I’ve come a long way since then. I still find myself feeling anxious but I’ve learned that recognizing what I’m feeling helps me cope. One thing I learned about anxiety attacks in particular is that they usually happen when I am in a calm state. I never get attacks when I am in the middle of a stressful work deadline, or punching the clock to get somewhere on time. One thing I remember my doctor explaining to me was that a lot of women are susceptible to anxiety attacks and that they usually happen when you are dealing with constant stress in your life. She explained that they can pop up when you are sitting at your desk, laying bed and even driving (those are when most of mine happen) and learning to talk yourself through is the best way to handle them.

I remember feeling so much comfort when I talked to my co-worker when I had my first attack and learning that I wasn’t alone, so I thought if I shared with you my story, maybe it will help someone else dealing with the same thing. Here are a few things my doctor told me I can do and a few things I’ve learned along the way that have helped me deal with anxiety and my anxiety attacks.

• 4, 7, 8 Breathing Technique – When you start to feel anxiety coming on, or even an anxiety attack. Find a quiet space that you can step away to. If you are in your car (like the times it happens to me) safely pull over and shut your car off. Once you are in a quiet space, take a deep breath in counting to four (inhale, 1, 2, 3, 4) (hold your breath, 5, 6, 7) (exhale on the count of 8). I find that if I do this for three to four breaths I begin to feel better. The idea is to take your focus off of how you are physically feeling and focus on the actually breathing. There are many other breathing techniques but this one seems to work best for me.
• Journaling –  I know journaling doesn’t help when you are actually having a anxiety attack but it can be a good exercise to practice on a daily basis so you can understand what you are feeling, know how to recognize it and also what the triggers are that might be cause these feelings to manifest. Plus, I believe that journaling helps me get my thoughts on paper therefore eliminating some of the mental clutter I have going on inside my head at any given time. When I become to overwhelmed (mentally) I find that my anxiety creeps in. Here is one of my favorite journals that I’m using that helps to keep things in perspective for me. 

• Exercise – I am bad about this one (but that’s another struggle to discuss at a later time) as I don’t seem to keep exercise at the top of my priority list. I do find that I feel less stress after a good workout.
• Getting out in nature – I live close to a metro park and it has some of the best hiking trails so anytime I need to clear my head, that is the place I go. There is something about being away from the sounds of a city that I find so therapeutic. This is a surefire way to keep anxiety at bay for me.
• Meditation & Prayer – In line with the 4, 7, 8 breathing technique, meditation helps me re-calibrate when I’m stressed. I recently downloaded an app called Headspace and it has been really helpful in providing guided meditations for me to practice. Of course, I always have my faith to turn to and have some great devotionals and scriptures that I read on a daily basis.

• Self-Care Sundays – This one is one of my favorites, but I try to devote one day a week (usually Sunday) to a little self-care. Usually that consists of me going to church, spending time with a loved one, taking a bubble bath or hot shower, journaling, reading a book, sipping on a glass of wine or some lavender tea and doing a little pampering. I find that when I give myself one day a week for myself, I feel more balanced and refreshed and ready for the week ahead.

While I am not a doctor and am not giving advice for how to deal with anxiety or anxiety attacks, I just wanted to share what has worked for me in the past and how I’ve learned to keep my anxiety at bay. In today’s day and age I think we need to be more open to talking about mental health and the issues we face on a day-to-day basis. As I have mentioned here in a previous post, I’m a great listener and am always here for any of my readers who’d like to share their story or just need someone to talk to, you can email me at marie@idreaminchic.com.

Lots of love!